For most of my life I sought to earn my sense of self-worth from others. That seemed to be the way the world worked. I sought approval from those “over me,” those whose approval seemed necessary, or at least helpful, to moving my life forward. But there were so many different, often conflicting, demands to be met.
And in all of this, I was always at someone else’s mercy. No matter how hard I tried, my life and my future were always in someone else’s hands and outside of my control.
I also discovered that no matter how hard I tried, I simply could never please everyone. It was impossible, with so many to please and so many conflicting demands. It seemed there was never a way to please everyone, or to please enough of them, often enough, for my life to work out well. Besides, I didn’t have a clue about who I was, since I was always trying to be who others thought I should be.
Fortunately, I grew tired of all of this. I wanted a sense of myself. At one low point in my life I finally decided to stop trying to be who everyone else thought I should be and simply be me. I accepted my understanding of God’s perspective of me. I believed that I was loved and appreciated simply because I was child of God, not because of anything I had or hadn’t done. I decided that if God loved me, that was good enough for me. That was what gave my life worth, not anything I ever had done or ever could do. I decided that I was enough, because God made me enough. I knew that I had worth simply because I existed, as is true of everyone.
I knew that there was only one of me, and that nobody else could be me. So I decided to simply focus on being the best me I could be, by simply expressing my me-ness. After all, no one else on the planet had my me-ness. If I didn’t express it, nobody else could. And the world would miss out on what my me-ness could bring to the party. And I knew that this was true of everyone else.
Today I came across an article that shares some of this same feeling, and I want to share it with you, since it was meaningful to me.
It came from a link in Mastin Kip’s TheDailyLove ezine. It linked to an article on his site by Lissa Rankin, M.D., a former OB/GYN. I’ve seen several of her videos recently and greatly appreciate her journey from being a medical doctor to becoming a healer of humans. Her article is entitled You’ve Already Arrived, Darling! I’m quoting below the latter portion of that article, since it addresses this issue of “enough.”
You Have Arrived, Darling
As I was preparing to go on my book tour for my new book Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof That You Can Heal Yourself, my super-grounded and ever-inspiring friend Kris Carr was giving me a pep talk. She said, “You have arrived, darling. I officially declare you ‘there.’ ”
And the voice of my Gremlin went ballistic. “No you’re not! Your publisher is expecting big things of you. You have to sell enough books to pay out your advance. The public television special they’re producing about your work has to convert to effective fund-raising for PBS. You’re not there yet! You have to work harder, rehearse more, go to more cities on your book tour, make it happen.
And then I bopped my Gremlin on the head until he was stunned into silence. I fed him a few peanuts, rubbed his little Buddha belly, and told him to quiet down, that although I know his scared little Gremlin voice is just trying to protect me, I am safe, I am enough, and he doesn’t need to prattle on the way he does.
That’s when the voice of my Inner Pilot Light chimed in. And what it said applies not just to me, but to you. So pay attention.
You Are Enough
Darling, you have arrived. You have nothing left to prove. You are inherently valuable, not because of how much you’ve achieved, but simply because you have within you a spark of divinity that makes you essentially valuable. Just look at any baby and you’ll see the inherent worth within every human being. You don’t have to earn that value because you just ARE.
Stop pushing. Stop striving. Stop trying to impress anybody. Stop being so spermy and just trust that you are enough, just as you are. Give up trying to be perfect because you’re guaranteed to fail, and remember that your imperfections are the gateway to intimacy with others who can relate to your vulnerabilities. Stop trying to get “there” and just savor being HERE. You are enough. You have arrived.
Take a deep breath and drink that in.
I encourage you to stop trying to live everybody else’s version of your life. Live your version of your life! You are enough because God made you enough! What could you possibly add to what God has made? Simply give yourself permission to live what God has already made in you. No one else can do that.
Charles David Heineke